Spring has sprung, fall has fell. Summers here and it's hot as hell.
You'd think after 20+ years in the desert a person would be used to the heat. Wind comes in and it's like a forced air heater blowing in your face. Moods are never good. People in a hurry like there's no tomorrow. People tailgate when you're in the slow lane.
Then there's the lawnmower races. With a speed limit of 50 in one of the most expensive towns in the country, gardeners, no Professional Landscapers drive side by side at pit road speed at Bristol. Side by side they go. If there was a God, he would give us proton torpedoes just for days like this.
"I used to bullseye womp rats in my T16 back home. They're not much bigger than gas cap on that John Deere." Vigor Skywalker would proclaim.
"It's a trap!" proclaims General Ackbar from the backseat. God I hate backseat Generals!
Real life spits in my face as I get caught at a red light behind another trailer. I can't even turn right on red because the lawn mower handles are sticking out too far.
Now my mind wanders again, to when I was 6 in the south when the Goat Man would take his goats down the highway. Now that was a sight. An old wagon, pulled by goats, surrounded by a herd of goats, led by an old man that resembled Professor Dumbledore, (how the heck does the spell checker get Wimbledon from Dumbledore?) Maybe the Professional Landscapers should sell postcards. The Goat Man sold postcards. The light finally changes to green and with me being third in line, I barely make the light before it changes red. I don't wanna run this light, they've got the camera up, just waiting to send you a $300 ticket, probably better than any Christmas cards I get with the family picture.
After hitting the next red light, I figure that while idling in my ol jalopy has probably cost me over $1.00 in petro. I zip onto the next band leader street and 5 minutes later I pull into work. Naturally there's already 3 Professional Landscapers trucks in the lot, taking 9 of 11 parking spaces. Hey, Professional Landscapers need free ice just like the next guy.
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